Slowly but Surely

In the Home Away from Home session-Changing "Attitudes and Thoughts" Positively held at KMC on 5th June(http://hahkmc.blogspot.com ), the question we were asked was, What do we think most of the time everyday?
Each of us had different answers, work, family, music, what to eat, how to shed weight?, etc...Since then I've been thinking of blogging about what do I think?

Each day my mind is bombarded with a constant stream of nagging thoughts, suspicions, doubts and fears, causing just a mental combat. I get discouraged about how far I had to go,and I am reminded of it every day, sometimes too often in a day! It’s true that we all still have a long way to go but somehow at some point in the day every now and then we tend to carry a constant sense of failure—a feeling that I just wasn’t who I needed to be, I wasn’t doing good enough, and I needed to try harder or do something else, rather give up?

 The fear of future or even the current comfort sometimes prevents us from starting anew, even when we know it’s quite probably the best thing we could do.Still, many times the fear of either starting or letting go paralyzes us to remain in an uncomfortable situation.
Every time I think of something and I feel, just if I get freedom in this area, everything would be all right. But then something else appears/happens that needs to be dealt with, and I’ll be back in that same frame of mind again, thinking, “If only I didn’t have this problem, I could be happy.”  I have been realizing again that I must learn to look at these things in a new way.
I want to enjoy myself while I am changing to adapt to new ways....
I want to enjoy the journey! and do not want to waste all of  my “now time” trying to rush into the future.
I remember the verse, tomorrow will have troubles of its own (Matthew 6:34).
and
Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

I'm finding this process very difficult. Growing and learning is never easy, but the changes make us better people.We begin to think differently, then to talk differently, and finally, to act differently.
The important thing to remember is that even though we’re not perfect, but we’re still unique and God loves us all. Slowly but Surely, we will be changed.

My Prayer,
I’m not where I want to be, but I thank you Lord I’m not where I used to be.You've bought me so far and hence you would lead me through till the end.
I know with all my heart that you are with me all the while.
Thank you Lord for the Strength to persevere and Hope to Press On.
Amen.

Mammaya....We Miss You....

Pic with Mammaya and cousins taken in Sun city

Its been six long(or too short?) years and still the memories are fresh on my mind and have been flashing before me since morning and I wanted to share it....

It was hard to see him get admitted in hospital every now and then for few months, then the unexpected road accident, then the frightful 4 long days in ICU, all this just to let him leave us all.....
It was even harder to allow his body to undergo the postmortem. Don't know why but I've been revisiting mama's death more often and still having trouble to accept that he isn't around, I just don’t want to explain how I am feeling – Don't have words to explain :(

He meant so much to me....My Best friend and My mentor.
It’s hard to believe we've lost him. We've lost that part of us which he held: as a friend, a family member, a Guide, a best critic, a son, a father, a brother, a good teacher, a disciplined man.
I know..that we cannot see you now, cannot hear you talk , cannot hear you laugh, cannot hear you asking for "One cup tea", cannot hear you crack jokes, cannot go outing with you,but can only remember you, the way you were! Just the way u were!

Things have changed so much, its not the same any more, but still the days are moving on... from day to night but you aren't here. I wish you were here still to guide us, to celebrate, to laugh, to love, to hug.
I wish you were here for us, more than us, for athama, Chaki n Vinee....

Even though we have a hope to see him again, our heart aches in waiting....
Its June!! so herez Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!Love you Mammaya...
Miss you a lot!!

The Verse of comfort which stuck me while writing this Blog,
2 Corinthians 4:16-20 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

This verse reminds us of the hope we have to see him again :) Thank you Lord for this hope.
Waiting to see you mammaya :)

Sometimes.....

Sometimes I wish I were a kid again;
Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, a bird or a tree! Sigh!
Sometimes I tend to over analyze the past
Sometimes too much of planning for future
Sometimes forgetting to live the "NOW" time
Sometimes I end up paying most for the things for which I get nothing.
Sometimes I can't make it on my own;
Sometimes I can't make it;
Sometimes I wonder whats up with me?
Sometimes all I do is to just to go on with....whatever happens-happens!
Sometimes thinking about good old days with friends
Sometimes have to take a step back, just to see who's still by my side.
Sometimes I want to put walls around me and keep people away;
Sometimes have to just be MY self, just to see who's really inside.
Sometimes I find others in that same situation as I or even worse!
Sometimes I feel like Screaming!
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.
Sometimes little brief moments become memories that last a life time..
Sometimes taking things too personally.
Sometimes being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things,
Sometimes when Am really good, I don't get a compliment
Sometimes I will spend too much in a day
Sometimes I sigh, and sometimes I smile
Sometimes I actually say nothing at all.
Sometimes I get quite gloomy about the future when I think about people like myself in it!
Sometimes several days attack me at once.
Sometimes has to just keep on trying to persevere hardships
Sometimes I think sometimes I don't;
Sometimes I ponder what makes me myself!
Sometimes it's hard to find the words;

"Sometimes the answer to prayer is not that it changes life, but that it changes you."

To all my above such or even more "Sometimes".....There is an ALWAYS....and that is -'God sees US always!' and want to say, Oh God, You are my God And I will ever praise You !!

One of my favorite songs that inspired me to think about 'my sometimes', Sometimes By Step-By Rich Mullins

Sometimes the night was beautiful
Sometimes the sky was so far away
Sometimes it seemed to stoop so close
You could touch it but your heart would break
Sometimes the morning came too soon
Sometimes the day could be so hot
There was so much work left to do
But so much You'd already done

CHORUS:
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

Sometimes I think of Abraham
How one star he saw had been lit for me
He was a stranger in this land
And I am that, no less than he
And on this road to righteousness
Sometimes the climb can be so steep
I may falter in my steps
But never beyond Your reach

CHORUS

And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days
And I will follow You all of my days
(Sometimes the night was beautiful)
And I will follow You all of my days

Elll.Ohhh.Viiii.Eeee

For a change wanted to blog something about LOVE..each of us have different opinions and definitions about love...Have been thinking....Whats it all about?

Is Love a Decision?
It takes commitment and action and not just mere feeling. Love is a choice to stand by someone, regardless of faults, imperfections and past failures. A love that is strong and hopeful will prevail. Knowing that this love will last forever and only grow, nothing can replace the joy of Love....

Is Love a Challenge?
It requires more patience and forgiveness than you sometimes think you have. You can choose to be stubborn and have a miserable relationship, or you can choose to humble yourself and do whatever it takes to make the other person feel loved by you, no matter what..... Yes, it hurts at times but produces patience through perseverance :)
Is Love a Dream?
Love is one of the most beautiful, rewarding gifts, God could ever give us. To have someone who knows your heart and soul and loves you unconditionally.
What does the Bible say about Love(The Agape Love)?
1 Corinthians 13 :
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
9For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears.
11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

We all must love with all our hearts, not according to any situation, not according to image or past, but of pure intentions :)
We all must care and abound in compassion, We must love and love again.....and, just as well, we must accept love.
We all must admit to the love we deserve.
We all must love and be loved.
We all must Love not according to season, but like God's unconditional love.
Just love.....Elll.Ohhh.Viiii.Eeee.....

Jus a little love for thought ...........;)