This is a mixture of quotes I read and correlated to put this blog....
"I am," I said To no one there...And no one heard at all...
Not even the things around me...
"I am," I cried
"I am," said I
And I am lost!!!
and I can't even say why......??
Leavin' me lonely still..........
I had come to the edge Of all light that I knew And was about to drop off into the darkness Of the unknown...The day is done, and the darkness Falls ......like a feather is wafted downward from a bird in her flight....waiting for a miracle of sunrise while awaiting in darkness...
What happened to this once happy person?
I feel so lifeless...The tears fall, they're so easy to wipe off onto my sleeve, but how do I erase the stain from my heart?
Why does it come as a surprise? To think I was so naive. Maybe it didn't mean so much to many, but it meant the world to me.
I took time.....a quiet time to examine my life openly and honestly. . . spending quiet time alone...giving my mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.....Im being unhappy and was convincing myself by telling that I should be contented with my lot...which had made me even more mad!!
But wondered much and sorrowed more...Because many things are hung on my mind... Then I decided, that I want to express this thought of mine in a blog…..
"My God, My God, Why?"
If pain was the problem in a book or a movie and not the problem in my heart, then I would have wept while reading the book or watching the movie.....
If pain was the problem of another nation, city or family, I could it still be person standing and upholding in a prayer with a distant cry...
But if the pain is deep inside me and the hurt is even deeper, where do I turn to or better still, to whom?
When the cries of my heart are deafening and making me numb, are there answers that are defining?
When the questions of my heart bring anguish to my soul that is baffling my mind, where do I go to?
When is the cry heard?
My mind was shrinking away as I was hearing the echoes of my own thoughts…
I asked.....My God..." My God, why do I really have to go through this alone? all thisssss!!! alllll alone!!?"
“Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. (Psalms 61:1)”
I regarded it as a duty which I owed, not just to my people, but also to my life, to cry out against the ill treatment which is essentially unjust!!
I used to always think that I'd look back on myself crying and laugh!!! which I have been doing for all my college days, but I never thought I'd look back on myself laughing and cry.......
While I thought that I was learning how to live......I have been learning how to die....Eeekss!! I am very weary, Though tears no longer flow; My eyes are tired of weeping, My heart is sick of woe.
The greatest loss is not death but instead it is what dies inside us while we live...I want to take up a stand against the injustice I want to uphold the dignity of what should be a good HUMAN BEING!! My voice of life cannot reach the ear of life in all; but I talk just that I may not feel lonely....I am always trying to drain all the thought by talking with a friend while im in the dark...rather than walking alone in the light.
I FEEL responsible. Although I am unable to prevent the worst from happening,
I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darkened my life.
Bad things did happen....But, Now, how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life... I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – LIFE itself!...Reminding me of "We are not promised days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but promised strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."
Having a little laugh at life and look around myself for happiness instead of sadness. ....Today....I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I did and will do.
Then I wanted to build faith.....strong faith in myself and faith in God!!...at this stage, I had a Faith on knowing One of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on
or
I will be taught to fly....
I wish for an ANGEL around me always...telling me....."Do it! I say Do It!! Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows."
So that I might live life to the limit, every minute of every day...!
Then I realized....All I need is the truth in MY hands.... Someone to call a friend...an ANGEL.... Never to fear the darkness.....and as said "It's better to light a candle then to curse the darkness."
